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Piers’ and Cameron’s potshots at TB beneath two such ‘giants’

Posted on 12 September 2010 | 12:09pm

You’ve really got to love Piers Morgan … Oh ok, you don’t, and I realised even as I was typing the words that ‘you’ve really got to love Piers Morgan’ can take its place among the more idiotic orders that have appeared here.

But back when I was training on the Mirror we were taught to try to grab your reader at the start, and with Piers something of a man of the moment, and one many seem not to like, the concept of asking you to do the opposite seemed quite grabby.

So if you’re still with me I suppose what I meant is that you really have to admire his nerve. To become the new Larry King when you leave behind you dodgy share deals (allegedly), faked photos and an ignominious departure from Fleet St takes some doing. And he has done it. Chapeau, comme on dit.

The brass neck is on display again today when in his Mail on Scumday column he suggests the most noteworthy element of TB’s book is that he is entirely omitted from it. (And no, the paper is not in the house; someone from my publishers sent me a link)

Rather than taking on the chin the clear implication that he was not as important to TB’s book as TB was to his, Piers suggests (amusingly I confess) that this was revenge for the fact that he was ‘right’ over Iraq and TB was ‘wrong’. And then we get to the real point of the column – Leonardo di Caprio recognised him!!! Joy oh joy unconfined. It is almost on a par with that felt by Peter Mandelson when President Sarkozy (allegedly) praised his strategic skills.

Piers texted me several times about Tony’s book. He was by the pool in LA. He always is when he texts me, and even if he isn’t he says he is in the mistaken belief that I will be jealous of his being in LA and by a pool. He said he was loving the book. It reminded him why he liked TB. And he was loving the fact that Peter M was barely in it. Not so much third man as third tier. So what does that make you, Johnny No Mentions?

But I do admire the way he can turn this omission into a serviceable Mail column. I wish he wouldn’t write for the scum though. It’s not as if he likes or respects them. He it was who first suggested to me Paul Dacre was secretly in love with me and so tortured by his homoerotic fantasies that he got his poodles to say terrible things about me.

He no longer needs the money, or the profile, so I suggest he scraps the column. And if he doesn’t can he write one finally explaining how, in his ‘diaries’, he managed to have tea with TB in Downing Street – in 1996!

Another ‘writer’ taking a pop at TB’s book this morning is David Cameron. I will give him the benefit of the doubt – and speculate that as he is still grieving for his father, and catching up on his paternity leave backlog, he didn’t write the piece which appears in The Observer.

Because I reckon he should take a leaf from TB’s book, and not get too snide about his predecessors. As PM, Tony – often to the annoyance of his staff – tended to stay out of whacking them, gently or otherwise, partly because every now and then he could benefit from their experience and insight, but also because he thought it made former PMs look small to be taking snide potshots at the person actually doing the job.

One of the many reasons he always had more respect for Maggie than Major was the way the latter, regular as a very boring clock, popped up annually to have a go, usually over some minor point. Cameron would be better off avoiding the same game. He does not want to be seen as small and petty. Or at least he shouldn’t want to.

  • Michael Snelgrove

    Of course – God forbid, wash my mouth out with soap and water – he could actually BE small and petty.

  • Olli Issakainen

    Having won The Apprentice, Piers Morgan is famous also here in Finland. (Coulsongate has also made the news here.)
    A book reviewer wrote that one should never judge a book (Maya) by its cover, after noticing the names of the “two most contentious” personalities in public life.
    As for the Daily Mail (circulation 2.1 million), Peter Preston claims that The Daily Mail group counts for more in policy-making at Downing Street today than News International. NI, by the way, has 37% of UK newspaper circulation.
    David Cameron, standing “on the shoulders of giants”, should think twice what he says. His government lacks clear narrative. And no one knows what Big Society really means.

    Ps. I have never had so much fun following a football match on internet as yesterday. Among others, I was following the threads “Laws Out!!!!” and “Who will Laws blame?” on the Clarets Mad messageboard. On the first one Burnley fan who at first complained about spending money on a ticket, later said that it was the best £26 he had ever spent! The second thread ended with classic words: Blame for what?. Oh, you fans of little faith…

  • Bit harsh on the Mail on Sunday Mr C, recall your a mere blogger NOW, they could send a QC with a writ, as with reporters bloggers have to back up their comments, calling a major Sunday paper Scum a bit over the top even for you!! Yes dont like Mr Morgan either but he is a force of nature, have to like that somewhat!

  • I always found John Major’s comments during the Labour’s period in office made him seem very small and petty.

    Cameron and Clegg both spend much too much time criticising their predecessors. It really isn’t very impressive, especially when we look at the activities of the current government. I think Cameron and Clegg would do much better to concern themselves about Michael Gove, or Coulson or indeed many others who are either part of the current government or have a role in it.

  • Mark Harrison

    Did Coulson write it do you think? Trying to take attention from his own troubles? cheaper than the 4bn quid Osborne spent doing so the other night

  • Harriet Course

    What Morgan has done is work out the mediagame for himself and played it like a violin. Cameron has yet quite to master public opinion, which is why he failed to win a majority, and why he is underestimating all the opposition there will be to the cuts, most of them not required by the economic situation as he claims

  • Chris lancashire

    You couldn’t be a tiny bit jealous that Morgan is doing better than you?

  • quinney

    Alastair, how about concentrating on the cuts these loonatics and their new apostles are imposing instead of partys and Piers?

  • Mark Wright

    Good on Piers!

    His incredible feat of media rehabilitation makes Peter Mandelson’s various attempts at reinvention (cravat anybody?) look like bit-parts in an amateur dramatics production. Ingratiating himself to the US cable news networks and sitting next to ‘The Hoff’ on ‘America’s Got Talent’ must be a doddle compared to being editor of The Mirror.

    I think it will all go swimmingly well for him until Fox News decide to run a piece on his time as editor of The Mirror and his anti-Iraq stance. At which point Sean Hannity will brand him a communist and get Glenn Beck to hold a protest rally outside CNN headquarters whilst burning copies of ‘The Insider’.

    Still it’s good to see that a self-assured, out-spoken and colourful member of the media fraternity has hit the big time. Of course, this does mean that there is a vacant seat next to ‘The Hoff’ that now needs filling…

    Come on AC, swallow your pride and ask Piers if he can put in a good word for you with Simon Cowell. You know it makes sense.

  • Guest

    Paul Dacre has trained poodles to speak! The man is an unrecognised genius. Are you sure the homoerotic attraction isn’t in the other direction?