Nick Clegg can have my painting of him for nine grand
Posted on 12 December 2010 | 10:12am
If I have mastered the technology correctly (said the nervous non cyberwarrior) then if you click on here you will see my debut in political art.
Art and I never got on at school, possibly because we had an art-teacher who had a temper that was even worse than mine. But when I was asked to try my hand to help raise money for Great Ormond Street Hospital, despite knowing my ‘work’ would be published online, and then auctioned, I thought I would give it a go.
The art for Great Ormond Street project is called Hare Styling and if you click on here you can find out more, not least that it was started by Angelica van Clarke, who at two days old had a life-saving operation at the hospital and aged 15 drew a hare to raise funds. From little acorns and all that …
So all the ‘artist’ (moi et beaucoup d’autres) gets is a canvas with a pencilled outline of Angelica’s original hare. All is then left to the imagination and you can see what my fellow artists have done with their hares by clicking on here
I suppose mine is the only overtly political one, but all rather topical, in that I did it a few weeks ago and it has only just gone up on the Hare Styling Gallery. I confess to having an assistant who helped me prepare the colours – she is a neighbour, my daughter’s best friend, and a leukaemia survivor who was treated at Great Ormond Street – but I did all the painting myself.
My hare, as you can see from the long yellow tie, and the ‘I pledge NOT to raise tuition fees’ protest banner, is Nick Clegg. He is a crying hare. A sad hare. Because he feels he is a hare who has been let down. Let down by David. And as a result all the people who used to love this little hare don’t like him at all, because they feel let down by him.
His big red tongue is still pointing up to the word David, and the v in David has been done as a big red loveheart, but he is nonetheless lamenting that David said if only he helped with all the cuts, he would get a proper job wahwahwah. This is a less sexual version of the cartoon in The Observer today that has a tiny Clegg having a post-coital fag while alongside him a giant and rather flabby Cameron (we only see his ‘pecs’) is telling ‘Clegg minor’ to think about the peerage that is surely coming his way for services to Conservative Party policies.
I confess my own offering is hardly subtle but like I said, I am a novice in this game, a bit like Clegg and his Lib Dems are novices in the power game after all those years saying everyone else was terrible, only they were straight and if only we would put them into government, there would be no more broken promises.
So while I am not much of a fan of police officers getting attacked, Cenotaph flags being used as playround equipment for rich students, Churchill statues being defiled, or politicians having to hole up in Parliament because of violence developing outside, I do think Clegg and Co can hardly be surprised in finding the lovebombs of the pre-election swooning and post-election coalition coitus with Cameron have turned to a determination by so many young people never to trust them again.
But, if I may return to a recurring theme, the role of Cameron in this deserves more examination. We keep reading that one of his great strengths is his breeding and the good manners that entails. If I were my little hare, I would be saying to Dave he is not being very good-mannered at all in making me take all the flak for a policy that is his and George’s.
Ah, Dave will say, but you know what Nick, we never said we wouldn’t do this … and we never did the holier than thou thing either … so you’ve made your bed, now lie in it … poor Hare.
There is one way Clegg could help rescue himself though, albeit in a minor, PR, show you’ve got a sense of humour kind of way. When it comes to the auction at the glamorous Hare Ball in London, I reckon he should come along and buy my painting … nine grand should do it, Nick.